Healing After Betrayal

Betrayal.

It's the central drama in every (good) book or movie, the part of the story that draws us in and makes us wonder how someone could be so heartless.

In real life, betrayal isn't quite as juicy, and we don't have the luxury of context or author's notes to clue us into what exactly happened to cause someone we care about to turn on us.

As someone who's experienced her fair share of betrayal, I've dealt with plenty of fallouts and heartbreaks, and I have to say, in real life, getting stabbed in the back is as exhausting as it is hurtful.

Here are the most important lessons that betrayal has taught me:

Give yourself the time and space you deserve to process the event and the feelings that accompany it.

No matter who it was, it was probably unexpected. Things were fine, and then they just… weren't.

You'll probably feel shocked, confused, and then, most likely, upset and maybe even angry. Instead of acting on your emotions, sit with them and allow yourself to work through them in your way.

My recommendations?

Meditate on them, journal, or write a letter you'll never send. Your catharsis can be just for you without adding fuel to the fire.

Remind yourself that your kindness will always be greater than their selfishness.

You may have cared for this person, helped them, or been there for them as a friend… and it may not have been enough. One person's selfishness or unwillingness to communicate to see eye to eye will never overshadow the effort and kindness you shared with them.

Be grateful that you found out sooner rather than later.