Navigating Betrayal Trauma

We've touched on betrayal on the blog before, but something I don't see talked about often is betrayal trauma, the PTSD that one experiences after a loved one turns on them.

What Is Betrayal Trauma?

Typically, this form of trauma is associated with those who experience abuse from someone they are close with, someone they depend on for emotional or financial support, such as family members or significant others.

When a loved one manipulates, gaslights, lies, or abuses a person they depend on, the person being abused may feel trapped in the situation, like they can't leave for fear of losing the person, even though the relationship has become anything but loving and supportive.

Trauma & Single Motherhood

If you're a fellow single mother, you can probably imagine how my world flipped upside down when I found out I was pregnant. You can also probably imagine the cartwheels and somersaults it did after realizing that my son's father didn't want anything to do with the pregnancy.

I was unsure of what would come next, and I had never felt more alone than I did those days between figuring out how I would raise my baby by myself and how my family would react when I told them.

Would they turn on me, too?

Thankfully, my family was supportive and by my side throughout my journey, but that doesn't mean I didn't experience a few bumps and backstabs along the way…

“Et tu, Brute?”

When your significant other or closest friends show their true colors and turn their backs on you after years of love and support, you can quickly begin to display signs of trauma, such as low self-esteem, a lack of trust, and negativity toward others.

Especially for single moms, it can be difficult to let new friends or a new partner into your life when you've gone through so many life-altering situations alone. But, keeping ourselves down by succumbing to the harmful effects of PTSD will do nothing but keep us in fear and isolation.

How can you overcome the effects of betrayal trauma to begin forming new relationships?

Give yourself time: Acknowledge what you've been through, the emotions you've felt, and how your past is shaping your present.

Practice self-care: You deserve time to heal, explore self-love, and honor your feelings and needs.

Be open to new experiences: This doesn't have to look like friendships or romantic relationships— Exploring new connections can mean joining in-person or online communities or support groups.

As a woman who's navigated her healing journey while working, figuring out motherhood, and dealing with the ups and downs of life, I want you to know that there's no right or wrong way to approach healing.

One mama's journey will look different from another's, and that's okay. We're all on the way to reclaiming our confidence and trust in the future, and when we allow ourselves to, we can connect and grow together.